Last Wednesday I had my S&P lab test. I think I did well on it this time. I hope I did well because I need to get an A in the class… Right now I am in the library waiting for my group members to come and do the presentation with me. The presentation is due this Wednesday and we have nothing for it yet. I also have a paper due in the same class, which is almost done since I have 70% written.

Thursday I had my S&P test in the actual class. I didn’t study as much as I would have liked for it, but I think I did pretty well on it. If I get a B on that test and then I get some extra credit this Thursday then I will probably have a B and not have to take the final. If by chance I got an A and I have the possibility to get an A in the class… I will so take the final with the hope I get an A on the final which would drop my 71% test and replace it with the final grade. Either way… this isn’t the test I am going to be worried about.

My neck has been hurting me really bad lately. I think my spine is out of place. I need to go to the health center so I can see a chiropractor and then see J, for a med refill. I do not really want to see J all that much, but I think it will be good. I do need a few more refills, but that is all I want to see him about.

Thursday I got the new Rise of Nations expansion pack… It doesn’t work on my computer for some reason. I am getting help from Microsoft tech support… which is surprising and nice. I am going to go home tonight and follow each step again and then send the stuff they asked me to copy and paste. I can play some of the game, but once I get into battles it shuts down. There is little point to the game if I can’t battle… It would be called equal nations then.

Mike and I wanted to play on the LAN but since my game doesn’t work we ended up watching friends and playing Tetris attack. I am almost back up to world class skill status. And yes I am very good at it. Ask anyone who has played me.

So with my weekend not having Rise of Nations, and projects due, I spent Saturday playing around trying to clean stuff off my computer. What did I clean? I deleted about 20 gigs of porn that I thought was either too sluttly… I do not like slutty girls… or too fat… I do not like excessively fat girls. Lindsay was about the limit of size for me. And she wasn’t all that small. I have to defrag my computer sometime in the near future because it really needs it.

I’ve been talking to my TN friend a lot lately. I really like talking to her; in fact it makes me really happy that I have someone like her to talk to. I look forward to talking to her when I see she is online. I hope she will be able to take the day off so I can see her on the way to Florida. This trip will be a lot of fun.

I watched X-2 the other night. I haven’t seen that movie since I saw it in the theater by myself… That was the only movie I’ve seen alone and it wasn’t by choice… Andrew and Jenny didn’t have a credit card, just a debit card… But watching the move alone and I was kinda cold made me upset. I just wanted to cuddle while I watched the movie. I miss that about having a girl around. I miss crawling in between their legs and resting my head on their tummy; being nice and warm and just falling asleep while the movie played. I miss lying face to face with legs and arms entangled just looking at each other and falling asleep. I miss resting my head between a girl’s breasts just laying there, my head rising and falling as they breathe and have them sing me a song to calm me down. I miss holding each other tightly then pealing of sticky sweaty skin apart to kiss. I miss lying so my arm drapes over resting on the breast and my leg over their top and between. I miss the smell of waking up in the morning.

You know I try not to think about that kind of stuff often but sometimes it just happens to be in my brain. I try to fill my time when I have those thoughts with video games or movies, but the movie idea made it worse. I think after the movie I talked to my TN friend about it. I would use her name except I would probably spell it wrong. I have been talking to a few new people online in the past week. It is so nice to actually talk to someone on there and be happy that I am talking to them. Though I wish I could have these people here in person. I wish I could meet more people around here. I wish I had the confidence to actually go talk to Allison again… After I bought my poster board on Thursday I was walking out of the student center. I smiled at Allison, a way to try to prime her memory about our lunch together last year. She smiled back and said HI. That was very unexpected. It made me feel really good. I could never forget about her, not because I like her, but because of her beautiful green eyes. I have never seen such pretty green eyes. I hope I do see her again while I am sitting down. I hope she comes over and sit by me. Even if she doesn’t say anything I will. I will be like how are you doing today? Then I will talk and prime her memory. What would be the point you ask? Confidence, friendship, happiness. I don’t care if anything really progresses… it is almost summer and she doesn’t live here in the summer. I know that from talking to her last year. But still.

On to the topic of what I want and what I hate about what I want. What I want… I want my crushes. What I hate about what I want… I hate mental crushes. Physical crushes can be gotten over relatively easy. Mental crushes are so much harder. It is hard to get over a crush when you like talking to the person, or like being with them. It doesn’t matter what they look like because loving someone is about loving the person not the shell. While physical attraction does play a part for me, it doesn’t play such a big part that I won’t be friends with someone who is ugly or hot. If I know the person before I meet them, I don’t care what they look like. If for chance I am in a class with someone, I probably won’t talk to a person with looks that intimidate me… With that digression… there is this girl sitting two computers away from me who is cute. I like her belly, it’s nice and squishy. More to love…

On to the most important part events that will be here soon. I have one paper, one presentation due this week. Next week is finals. The week after I think is my drink everyday while my parents are in Vegas. Then the week after that VA-FUCKING-CATION. I will be posting my exact date/locations once mike and I get our asses together and make the plans. For my lovely TN friend I will let you know in about 2 days when we will be passing through. Please please please get that day off, I really want to see you and it would be easier to see you on the way. BUT if not I will find A day to come back that you will be home. This being my only trip I see in the near future, I do not want to pass this up and not meet you. Also my FL friend I WILL make a day trip to see you too, I just need to let you know what I am doing. I hope YOU will want to meet ME and go out and have a fun time. I haven’t been to FL, so you will have to show me around. Anyway…

For the record… Fucking partners haven’t called me

Off the record… I hate chicks who don’t return messages

For the record… I feel pretty OK right now

Off the record… I won’t be OK once I get my counseling transcript grade

For the record… Ms. Jessica hasn’t visited me in the library yet

Off the record… If I remember correctly Ms. Jessica lived in Ft. Collins, and if so which High school…

For the record… I went to Rocky Mountain High School

Off the record… I live by that damn school and see it every day.