Lets start with Monday… I took the GRE, it seems that all the months of studying kinda paid off. I got a 490 in my verbal and a 760 in my math. 500 is average and 800 is max, so I did great in math, but not quite as well as I wanted in verbal. I knew my verbal wasn’t going to be that great, but it turned out to be pretty decent. I needed an 1100 over all and I got a 1250 so I'm above the threshold.

Now I just need to get on getting my mission statements and letters of recommendation done. That shouldn’t be too hard, I just need to do it

I got my essay and test back on Monday… I got a 76 on my essay which is total bullshit and I got a 72.5 on my history test. Which is good since the curve makes that a B.

I talked to my teacher about my essay, and he said I could rewrite it. So I did rewrite it and talked to him about the draft I gave him. He said it is a lot better, I just need to fix a few things. I will do that tomorrow or Sunday. Then hopefully I will get at least an 84… I need to get a solid B in that class at least. I really want an A, but I don’t think it is possible because of how he grades and all that stupid shit I don’t like about him…

Tuesday I saw Team America: World Police with a few friends from the message board… that is one of the better movies I have seen in a while. I would like to see it again if I had the money to do so.

Wednesday I worked which like always was uneventful.

Thursday was the pizza and beer night… This was a crazy time…

So there was this girl sitting at a different table than our group was at. I thought she was cute and I just kept looking at her. So Bonnie, Suji and Tim thought it would be nice or something to go tell her that I think she was cute. This was embarrassing but also mean for the fact that there were people within the group who I liked. This gesture by the three seemed as if it created more of a problem than what they intended. The girl turned out to be a grad student. That sucks for me since it means she’s busy, also she didn’t seem too interested in me, and by the time that I did go talk to her, I wasn’t really interested anymore either. So for future knowledge, don’t do stuff like that to me.

When I got home I was kinda pissed about the situation because I know it could have pissed off a person or two I liked, because I am not sure if they like me back in that way. When I did get home I got an IM from a person who I kinda like. She admitted that she didn’t always catch onto my hints that I drop. Though she said she liked them. If I understand this correctly, she said “well I will tell you something; you probably know this already.” I said I knew so she didn’t say it. Like I said last night, this is like putting my balls in a blender. If I am wrong please correct me. I would like to have this conversation face to face though. You’re a smart girl, you can figure out how to reach me.

While I just have put my self out on the line like that, I know what is probably going to happen. Well I really don’t, but who knows…

This is what I want at the moment in time since what ever is going to happen with anyone is going to end in the spring… I want to have a girl that I can cuddle with while we watch movies. I want a girl that will play while we cuddle during movies. I want a girl who will have sex during the movie, then have to re-watch the movie because we were horny freaks. I want a girl that I can go to dinner with or coffee. I want a girl who I can trust not to fuck some other guy even though the relationship isn’t serous. I want a girl who will talk to call me often, but understand that I am a busy person and have other friends to have fun with. I want a girl who will not get jealous when I talk to my female friends.

While I have stated this to the person, I have a bad feeling something good might come of this. The good will be shattered and in the end people will be hurt. THAT IS WHAT I’M MORE CONCERNED WITH, NOT THE FACT THAT I WANT TO BE A “SLUT” FOR A FEW MONTHS. (Even though what I want is an exclusive friend who will be physical). God I hate feelings… I wish I could just find someone and get married so I don’t have to worry about finding someone when I move and all this stupid shit that is happening.

I wish every girl I know would send me an E-mail and tell me what level of friendship they are at with me. That way I don’t have to fucking wonder.

MOTHER FUCKER I’M TIRED.