I will be leaving Seattle in the beginning/middle of November and moving back home. I will be looking for a job of some sort. Hopefully something that will get me experience in a different area. I have always like math, which is making me lean towards something to do with accounting or business. I am going to think about what I really want to do in the next year or so then make a decision on whether or not to go get a master’s in psychology, go for a business degree, or who knows what else. I just know that I hate it here in Seattle, and I want to go home.

Currently I am really depressed. I have been depressed since I got here, and thought it would get better over time with school. But school and knowing that this isn’t want I wanted to do made it worse. Now I’m confused on what I really want to do and I have to keep moving forward to figure it out.

I really miss Suji. She wasn’t a factor in making the decision to go home. It does though make me happy that I will be there with her again. It was hard being away from her which added to my depression. I just hope I can figure out what I want to do and she figures out what she wants to do and we both do what we like.

I never know what I like I guess until I try it. I might just like being a manager at a store or something. I will never know until I try. But I’m also scared that I will never find something I really like. I will go to the career center at CSU and try to get some help there.

I just wonder what I will end up doing. My professors said that I could go back for a MBA, but that would put me in a situation of I still don’t know what I want to do and going to school for something I don’t know about would be a waste of time.

I’m thinking… get a job in a general area, find an area within the general area, go back to school for a little bit, see if I like the area, then go from there.

Well… other than that for being new important news… I still haven’t done shit in Seattle. I haven’t seen any of the attractions and I don’t know if I even will. I had planned on seeing it all when Suji would come in Jan, but since that won’t happen I won’t be able to see anything unless I go alone. I don’t know what I really want to see. I was more interested in doing that kind of stuff with Suji or someone else. But now I don’t know.

I am a little sad to leave Yankee Candle. I do enjoy that job more than I have of any of my other jobs. I hope I will be able to get a job at the one in Loveland. It would be a good job to fall back on. It would be just a job to get me started and figuring out what I want to do. Also I would smell good all the time.

I guess life isn’t always easy or able to know where something will take me. But at least I know where I don’t want to go at the moment.

For the record… I’m happy I’m going home
Off the record… I’m a little sad to not be taking child and adolescent development. (The only class I really liked).
For the record… I’m glad I’m not going to be in school
Off the record… I will be in school again soon.
For the record… I love Suji
Off the record… I will get to live with Suji.