Today being Thursday is a day in which I work. I worked at 1 today until about 9:15. Work sucked but I got the Zelda strategy guide for $5 as well as a few other things for a few other people. So today was a good day for me to buy stuff at retail cost instead of employee cost. Now I just need a check from Laura for 21.33 to pay for the movie she wanted. If I were mean would I have gotten her the DVD? Probably not, but we�ll see her reaction tomorrow when I hand it to her. OK, I thought trying to go off my meds would be a good idea, but it seems as if it sucks right now� I don�t like the withdrawal symptoms so I will have to wait until the summer when don�t have to care about anything to let them go. Maybe my life will be better then. But probably not it looks like it might get worse when everyone leaves to go home or places.
Erin e-mailed me trying to help me figure out how to fix my problems. It was really nice of her to do so. No one else tried to help. Even if you don�t think your words mean anything it is nice to let me know you actually care and are thinking of me. I thank you Erin for writing me the e-mail. You words do mean something to me. I will have to keep your suggestions in mind and try to work on putting them into action.
If I clean a little everyday in my room I should get it done in the near future. If someone would help me one afternoon then I could have it totally done. I really need to figure out what I can get out of my room so I can have more room.
I think I might try Erin�s advice and try to get to go to lunch with some people from class. I honestly don�t think I will have the guts to ask, but I will at least think about it.
Think is the cause of every problem in the world. If I didn�t think then I wouldn�t know that I have problems. Maybe since I do think I am better off than those people who don�t think they have problems because they don�t think. I just wish I could figure out ways to fix everything instead of just knowing what is wrong.
I�ve decided� Next Thursday I will clean my room� or which ever day I�m not spending time with Erin and her roommate while they are on spring break. I think seeing her will help me out a lot. I think I just would like a big hug and for someone to say everything will be all right. Even if Megan did that for me that would help me out a lot. But I don�t think she reads this so I don�t think she will. Hell if Jaime did that to me I would know everything would be all right.
I still don�t know why I care so much about certain things. Maybe I care because I�m not the one who is manipulating things to make me happy. Maybe manipulating isn�t the right word, but maybe lack of control? Well anyway fuck school I have to go to bed
For the record� HELP ME!
Off the record� HELP ME!