Today started off as a pretty good day. I got some sleep in history, then again in logic. Megan bought me breakfast since I had no cash on me. Thanks Megan! I was really hungry this morning. I ate lunch with Tim then he left and I waited for anyone to show up. Mainly I was waiting for the pretzels to get done. I like pretzels. But anyway I seemed to be hungry today.

In current worlds problems I asked Rachel to sit by me, which she did. Slowly I started to work up to asking her to do something. She�s going to have lunch with me on Friday. Hell yea. Although she said she wasn�t looking for a relationship right now, which is cool with me. I would like a relationship but then again I don�t know what I want.

Lindsay called and left me a message asking me to take her to the health center. Which I told her I would so I picked her up and dropped her off. I got home and Rachel messaged me which was good to see when I got to my desk. I took a shower and came back to the computer to see that Lindsay got back ok. I asked her if she was going to be ok she said she didn�t know. Either she had GRED or she is pregnant. I�m like about to say �What the fuck!?� Then she said it doesn�t matter and said good bye� but I�m like shit this involves me now. And she kept saying it didn�t and she didn�t trust me. Fuck if I�m going to be left in the dark and she is pregnant, which I highly doubt, then she better totally deal with this on her own. If I�m not a part now and I don�t get to help make choices then I don�t want to be involved at all so I can have as little attachment to the child, if there is one, as I can. I don�t want to have the pain knowing that I had a child that was put up for adoption or aborted with out me knowing. I thought I was being nice by calling her on Monday to find out how she was doing since she hasn�t been in class in over two weeks. But I guess my nice gestures never work out for me, so why should I do stuff for people.

I do stuff for people and I don�t get much in return. I don�t expect anything in return, but when I would like help I should have it offered or given if I ask. This shit she said about she can�t trust me is bullshit. I tried to mend our friendship and now she just puts up a fucking wall. But now I shouldn�t even care really since I have more important things to worry about. Her being pregnant is pretty important but if I�m not going to be involved then I have to get away from her.

I�m just praying that one day will be the start of a good week for me and then I can be happy. A week without any major problems, or any hurtful situations. I thought today was going to be a day in which things like that would start. This past weekend with Andrew and mike was one of the better days I have had all year. I can�t wait until school is out, then I can relax and get everything to a level where I can be happy. Except Andrew is moving to Florida in July. I am going to visit him next year sometime down there and we�ll be online to talk and stuff, but it�s going to be hard and weird not having him around. Megan is going to Pennsylvania to work at, I think, a Girl Scout ranch. Erin should be coming back from Minnesota. Mike will still be here. Hopefully Rachel will become a good friend. Jaime should be here also. Hopefully she can find a place to live next year. Aaron I guess will be around. But I don�t know how long either of us will be at Circuit City.

I�m behind in my English class. I have about 100 pages to read for Friday. But I just can�t get into the book and every time I try to read I get distracted. I am probably going to read in a little bit. I don�t really have any other class work except an assignment in current world problems. I will get that done maybe Friday or something. Well I�m leaving

For the record� Rachel is cool

Off the record� Lindsay is being uncool

For the record� I�m tired of everything

Off the record� My back hurts

For the record� My back hurts

Off the record� MY FUCKING BACK HURTS