The more i try to understand people and the more i actually understand the worse i get. I was doing pretty well until a few weeks ago mainly before my party and about the time school was about ending. I was looking forward to summer. but things started getting worse. I'm trying really hard to actually leave my house to do stuff. it is hard enough to go to work somedays. It isn't becasue i hate work... I hate work, but that isn't it. While i'm at work i get so overwhelemed with stimulation and i just want to run and hide. I just want to wear ear plugs and hide my pariferal vision. while at home, i need to have music or the TV going all the time or i start spiraling down again. I haven't had it like this since junior high and the begining years of high school. Don't get me wrong, i like listening to music, but i don't think it is very good to sit in my computer chair for a few hours just sitting there listening to music and doing nothing else.

There have been days where Lynn and I would start to clean my room. She would do a certain section and i would do the other. I would get done, and leave her to work, but when i get back she's just sitting there not working on my room. Why would you offer to help someone clean and not do it? I hate cleaning and i want to get it done so i don't have to worry about it.

My logic teacher is on vacation until the 11th. I have to call him when he gets back so he can change my grade. My friend got a B for her final gradel, and we worked together on the final, so i should be somewhere in that range too.

Erin is back and we've been hanging out. I'm trying to get her to do more stuff.

I got a new motherboard for my computer. then i found out it was mcafee internet security that was actually making my other board not function right. But oh well i can get a new processor and give it to my sister. Then she can have a good computer. A new cpu can't cost that much since the new dual thred came out.

I have a bunch of stuff on my old hard drive that i can't get off for some reason. It is the only hard drive i have that won't work. All the 5 others show up just fine. But maybe it has to do with the FAT32 format... Who knows... If i have to download everything agian, oh well. it is just a bunch of stuff that i don't really need anyway... just 30 gigs of stuff that is.

So i've been playing Rise of Nations a lot lately. It is pretty fun. I just want to play a multiplayer game with Mike and Andrew... Us three against some hard ass computer players.

I've drank quite a bit the past few weeks. Sometimes it is fun, but sometimes it gets annoying.

For the record... I am having a dumb summer

Off the record... I'm tired

For the record... I like being alone, but when i'm alone i want someone else to hangout with

Off the record... I rather just sleep

For the record... I hate work