I have this feeling that 2004 will be like 2003 which was like 2002 which was like 2001 which almost was like 2000 which I was hoping that the world would have ended. Now that I know the world won�t just give up and end and I have figured that I am too lazy to give up and just end, I have to find a new path or a clearer one at least. I am Chris from Ft. Collins, Colorado, and I am totally out of my mind. Some people say they need to think outside the box, I need a fucking box first. I saw today that shop-ko has plastic totes on sale; two for one. I don�t need anymore totes though. I would like to have a nice metal box with a gold lock. You are probably asking yourself, why a metal box with a gold lock. My answer is, shut-up. You don�t know me so back the fuck up. I am not black, and I am not a want to be gangster. I am not lazy, just unmotivated. I have never really been motivated, and I don�t ever think I will be motivated. My motivation, the little I do have, is always snuffed out by people whom I do not care for. I could like someone, but not care for them, or I can hate someone and care for them. I will not give examples for the fact of that it�s not a big deal who falls within those two columns. I do not think in orderly fashion, but I can get to the end a lot quicker than other people. It annoys me when the simplest tasks take other people more time than I believe that it should take them. I understand that children should take a longer time, but still once you hit a point in life, everyday thinking should take a small amount of time. If I had a video screen hooked up to my head, and broadcasted on TV, I would have the number one show since every showing would be fresh and random. I don�t want to have a fresh show; I want to be able to have reruns. I would give a ton to be able to remember the things other people can remember. I do not like pictures because they are stills of a time which I should remember but can�t therefore I don�t want to be reminded of a time that I can�t remember about. �Hey Chris, remember back in the day.� �No.� �You didn�t know what I was going to say.� �It doesn�t matter, I don�t remember, nor would I probably care since I think I am nothing like what I was a few years ago.� I don�t know if I have changed from the beginning of high to the end of high school to now. They people I once knew back then are not all the same people I know now. A few I have kept up with since high school, but most I have not. The ones I have not I can barely remember who they are. Does it matter that I don�t remember? I think not, although it would be nice to have new people come into my life to fill in slots of my friendship mold. Do I need friends? Would that help my life find direction? I like to sit at home and do nothing. I am told that, that is not a good way to spend my time. I know and I know why people tell me that. I don�t want to get better for the reason that I will lose something I have constant in my life. It is a constant cycle that is starting to spread itself out, and it is getting less and less intense. I guess it doesn�t matter since I still can function relatively well.
My new year goal this year is going to be the same goal as always� and that is try to be happy. What ever that includes will be fine with me. Well almost everything.
Top stories of the year� Super Bitchmaster Chris, Zo-Nads the Great is now single again, and is in full control of the Pimps and Bitches Whorehouse. We are accepting applications for new pimps as well as bitches. The anti-social club will now start meeting once again, more or less as an anti-social social club. It would be the first type in the history of this Bitchmaster�s life.
I have beaten Final Fantasy X-2 two times; both times I fell short of the 100% completion. And both times I got pissed off. A third time will be coming around the corner soon and I better get the 100% or something will be broken. I played Final Fantasy X and I cheated the hell out of it but it still was a lot of fun. I must start a new game soon� I am slowly playing through a few games that I have but haven�t played. And sooner or later I will have them all done, and then I will be stuck with nothing again.
I keep cleaning my room and it keeps getting back to being messy. I don�t know why I keep messing it up, but I think it is because I just umm�. Well I don�t know why it happens. I really need to keep it clean so it looks nice and then the dog can come in and out of my room with out pissing me off so much. Also I need to re-hook up all my cables to my stereo so I can have everything working again that I need to work. I think tomorrow will be a very production day�
School starts on the 20th but I wish it started today. I want to go back to school so bad so I can actually have something to do. Hopefully I will meet people who I like in the classes I have. It would be a good turn of events for me. I would like to have a girl friend, but this time I want someone more or less like me, but I don�t know. Maybe girl friends are just distractions at this time in my life. I don�t know.
Well, I made a banner finally and I am going to go post it�