Well, if I was asleep or not matters not. I got to work on keeping my self in reality again. I�ve been slipping often lately. I never know I�m not here until I come back from hallucinations or strong delusions. I�m not acting on hallucinations as much as I use to though. I�m actually able to go places while I�m being followed. I touched my belly button for the first time in years and it didn�t open up and have my guts fall out. I still don�t trust it though. Erin didn�t have a belly button; she just had a deep hole. If I ever have my belly button open up, I hope it happens and no one can see, or I hope it happens in front of people I don�t like and my guts wrap themselves around them. Maybe my death will result in the overtaking of the world by the robots I strongly oppose.

I feel like an old people. I bought light bulbs� I needed two but I bought the largest pack they had. And I save rubber bands and plastic bags. Old people do stuff like that. I should be on social security like old people are. Then I could have some money to do stuff with. I got paid today� two weeks of work got me a whole lot of money� $171.38 whole lot of money. What the fuck can I do with that? Hmm� get some gas for my car, buy some lunches, and maybe I could go to the movies a few times. If I didn�t live at home, I would be on the street with paychecks like that.

So I have been getting messages from people reading my diary. It makes me happy to see people respond. I have yahoo and AIM so feel free to drop me a message on there too. I don�t bite; I don�t think my computer would like that.

So, I was thinking earlier� The person who called me a cunt-licking butt-fucker, were they complimenting me or what? First of all I don�t think it is a bad thing to be a cunt licker. While I�ve only had two girl friends, I can say that going down on a girl is a fun and very loving action. The butt-fucker part is untrue. Anal sex is something that I think would be interesting, but I never even tried. So from thinking about what someone called me out of anger and disrespect, I have found that to be somewhat true. And I�m not ashamed of what I have done, shit I would do it again tomorrow if I had someone who I cared for to do it to. So I think people should understand what they are calling a person. Most shit that comes out of people�s mouths is not really bad; it�s just more or less it is true. And some people are embarrassed by the truth, so that�s why people don�t like getting called a cunt-licking butt-fucker.

I need a theme song. The song �Wu-Tang clan ain�t nottin to fuck with� would be a very nice theme song for me except I�m not part of the Wu-Tang, although I would like to be. They should change their song to be �Bitch Master Chris ain�t nottin to fuck with.� If I had the lyrics to the song, I could rework them to fit it to me. This was the third Wu-Tang song I heard in my life and it is the one that got me hooked on them. The first two songs were just in passing, so not much was remembered. I would also like Cypress Hill to adapt �Lick a Shot� to me too. Damn I love that song. If someone snatched my MP3 player they would think that I am a weird person. The range of music is pretty big� I got me some Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, Gary Jules, Cypress Hill, Wu-Tang, DJ shadow, Linkin Park, TOOL, Radiohead� I think that is it. But still it�s odd to have a range like that on a 256MB player.

There was like a two hour delay just now. I don�t know why I stopped writing. But something� I don�t remember what I was going to say other than I just forgot again. I guess I will write tomorrow or today what ever the hell time it is�

For the record� I�m confused

Off the record� So are you

For the record� I�m not fine

Off the record� Don�t tell them I�m not fine

For the record� I finally have light in my room

Off the record� I need to put my glowing stuff.