> > THE ULTIMATE SURVEY

> >

> > Full name: Christopher Michael George Stolte

> > Birthday: 09-06-82

> > Height: 5� 9"ish

> > Weight: 135ish

> > Eye color: Green and Blue

> > Hair color: Blond

> > Shoe size: 10.5

> > Nicknames: Dude, Bitchmaster, Lord Chris, Zo-Cunt.

> > Birthplace: Fort Collins, CO

> > Hometown: Fort Collins, CO

> > School: CSU

> > Public/Private: public

> > Mascot: CSU Ram

> > Nationality: American.

> > Ethnicity: White

> > Parents: Dave and Cindy

> > Religion: Chris� special religion

> > Hobbies: Eating, Drinking, Sleeping, Video Games, Movies, Diary-updating, Other stuff too

> > Zodiac sign: Virgo

> > Siblings: Jenny (sister)

> > Dream Car: Porsche

> > Pets: Dog and Cat.

> > GPA: 2.9

> > Words or phrases you overuse: Mother fucker, Bitch, Yea, What, Okay (lil jon).

> > Piercings/Tattoos: Hell no

> > Habits: Breathing

> > Obsessions: I don�t know.

> > Best Advice Ever Given: Advice is for chumps and suckers.

> >

> > FAVORITE:

> > Salad dressing: Dorothy Lynch

> > Shampoo or conditioner: I don�t have much hair�

> > Color: Red

> > Movie: Seven, Kill Bill, Any David Lynch movie, and Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp movies.

> > Actor: Brad Pitt, and Johnny Depp

> > Actress: I don�t know

> > Type of music: Rap, Rock, metal, Techno, Classical, and a few others

> > Fast food: Taco Bell

> > Drink (alcoholic): wine, beer, and anything else I like

> > Flower: Roses, four o�clocks, And others, it would have been nice if my past �Girlfriends� would have gotten me flowers

> > Fruit: Strawberries and Cherries.

> > Gemstone: Sapphire

> > Perfume/Cologne: I�m allergic

> > Place/Town: Bitch Town, in the state of ChrisLand, on the planet Beotch

> > Food: those party pizzas, sesame chicken.

> > Ice cream: I don�t like ice cream

> > Soda: Dr. Pepper

> > Sport to watch: I�m not a sports person

> > Sport to play: Nothing really, I guess bowling

> > Holiday: My birthday

> > Number: 17 and 74

> > Girl�s name: Naomi, Amanda

> > Boy�s name: William

> > Piece of jewelry: I guess my class ring since that is the only thing I own

> > Books: Ishmael, My Ishmael, Hearts in Atlantis.

> > Author: Stephen Kind, Daniel Quinn

> > Poem: The inferno, Dante�

> > Subject at school: Psychology obviously

> > Least favorite subject at school: History

> > Store: Barnes and Noble

> > Four letter word: Fuck, shit,

> > Animal: I don�t know

> > Board game: Pac-Man fever� its for the PS2, but it is like a board game

> > Candy: Dove Dark Chocolate.

> > Season: Fall

> > Teacher from High School: I don�t remember high school

> > Word/Phrase: �I�m Rick James, Bitch�

> > Word or phrase in a foreign language: I don�t know anything

> > Chemical Element: Cobalt

> > Song: Eraser by Nine Inch Nails.

> > Musical: I don�t like musicals

> > Band/Musical artist: TOOL, Nine Inch Nails�

> > Radio station: I don�t listen to the radio

> > Thing to wear: jeans and tool shirts

> > Computer font: I guess Times

> > Place to eat: Young�s

> > Conversation topic: Anything, but religion and politics

> > Swear word: Fuck, Shit, Damn, Ass hole

> > Family member: ME

> > Game: I have too many to name

> > Sports team: Colorado Teams, and Florida State University

> >

> > *** OR ***

> > Oranges or apples: Oranges

> > Deaf or blind: blind.

> > Pools or hot tubs: Hot tubs

> > Blondes or brunettes: Brunettes, curly brunettes

> > Smoker or nonsmoker: none

> > Tall or short? Depends on weight... Read a few posts ago�

> > Coke or Pepsi: coke

> > TV or radio: TV

> > Lefty or righty: Righty

> > Fast songs or slow dances: If this has anything to do with dancing I don�t like either

> > Bitter or sweet: sweet

> > Day or night: night

> > Diamonds or pearls: diamonds!

> > Flowers, candy, or a poem: flowers.

> > Gold or silver: White Gold!

> > Heaven or Hell: Well I am going to hell�

> > Kissing or hugging: I like hugs a lot. Kisses are nice too though

> > Love or lust: Depends on the person� I hope the next girl will be for love. Not lust

> > McD�s or BK: Taco Bell

> > Pie or cake: cake

> > Smiling or laughing: Laughing!

> > Cookies or brownies: brownies

> > Milk or iced tea: Milk

> > Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

> > Good lil� angel or bad lil� devil: I�d like to spank me a good lil� angel *wink*

> > Fruit or veggies: Veggies

> > Video or DVD: DVD

> > CD or cassette: CD

> > Silk or leather: silk.

> > New or old: New what?

> > Rain or snow: rain

> > Give or receive: I�m tired of giving, so I like to recieve.

> > Wool or cotton: cotton

> > Chocolate milk or plain: chocolate

> > Math or English: English

> > Dog or cat: cat

> > Paper or plastic: paper

> > Pen or pencil: pencil

> > Car or truck: car.

> >

> > HAVE YOU EVER...

> > Gone skinny dipping? If naked in a hot tub counts� then yes

> > Broken the law? yeah

> > Witnessed a crime? Was I committing it?

> > Run away from home? For like 9 hours

> > Broken a bone? no

> > Lied? yeah

> > Cheated on a test? Yea

> > Cheated on a boy/girlfriend? Nope

> > Had a boy/girlfriend cheat on you? Maybe

> > Been the �other woman/man�? Not yet�

> > Been on a plane? yes

> > Gone swimming in the ocean? yes

> > Cried in public? yes

> > Let a friend cry on your shoulder? yes

> > Fallen asleep in the car? yes

> > Fallen asleep while driving? no

> > Fallen asleep in the shower or bath? yes

> > Fallen asleep while eating? when yes

> > Gone to church/synagogue? yes

> > Read the Bible? yes

> > Read the Torah? no

> > Read the Koran? no

> > Read the Kama Sutra? The actual book, yes, and the sex one yes

> > Read Playboy? Not yet�

> > Read the dictionary? yes

> > Climbed a tree? yes

> > Stayed awake all night? yes

> > Been to camp? Scout camp

> > Been to a professional sports game? yes

> > Been to the Superbowl? nope

> > Gotten a back massage? Yes, only Lindsay gave good ones. Erin sure sucks ass at it

> > Kissed a guy? No

> > Kissed a girl? Yes

> > Eaten sushi? I don�t like sticky rice

> > Been onstage? yes

> > Been backstage? yes

> > Been dumped? Kinda

> > Wanted to die? Yea...

> > Met a celebrity? Yea

> > Met the President? Maybe if he would die

> > Seen the White House? Nope

> > Driven a car? Yes

> > Not washed your hair for a week? Not recently

> > Broken something valuable? Yes

> > Bought ice cream from an ice cream truck? Yes

> > Used your parents� credit card? Yes

> > Forged a parent�s signature? Nope

> > Moved? Once when I was a baby

> > Gotten a cavity? Yes

> > Gotten a shot? Yes

> > Had an online relationship? No

> > Made prank phone calls? Yes

> > Caught a fish? Yes

> > Snuck out of your house? Yes

> > Climbed into your house through a window? Yes

> > Traveled to another country? Canada

> > Killed someone in your thoughts? All the time

> > Killed someone in real life? Not yet�

> > Attempted suicide? A few times

> > Cut yourself on purpose? Yes

> > Been in a car accident? Yes

> > Had sex? YEs

> > Played strip poker? Not yet

> > Had a medical emergency? Yes

> > Cried over a boy/girl? I guess

> > Been in love? Nope, I can pretend though

> > Been arrested? No

> > Gotten high? Yes

> > Gotten drunk? Yes

> > Been to a concert? Yes

> > Gotten into a fight? Yes.

> > Been kicked out of school? No

> > Skied? Yes

> > Jetskied? no

> > Snowboarded? no

> >

> > IF YOU COULD...

> > Be a character from any movie, who would you be? Darth Maul

> > Be any animal, what would it be? I don�t want to be an animal

> > Dye your hair any color, what would it be? Purple again

> > Do one thing to someone you disliked, what would it be? Throw up on them and then cut off a body part

> > Have one fairy tale come true, what would it be? I don�t know

> > Have one wish, what would it be? Have an ass load of money to buy and sell your ass

> >

> > DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

> > Love at first sight? yes.

> > God? Umm�

> > Religion? My religion

> > Aliens? yes

> > Angels? Sure why not?

> > Fairies? Gay people?

> > Horoscopes? No

> > Ghosts? no

> > Psychic powers? If I did, I would have them

> > Heaven? I don�t care

> > Hell? I will see you all there

> > Yourself? Yes

> >

> > ABOUT THE OPPOSITE (PREFERRED) SEX:

> > Are you in a relationship? No

> > What do you notice first? Hair, Eyes, then boobs, and tummy.

> > What do you look for in a romantic partner? Not be a bitch like Lindsay or an emotionless liar like Erin.

> > Long hair or short? Short curly hair

> > Thing you hate most about �em: Liars, and stupid

> > Thing you love most about �em: Good to cuddle with and just good to be around

> >

> > WHAT IS...

> > Your most prized and important possession? I don�t know

> > Your good luck charm? no

> > The worst song you have ever heard? I�m pretty any thing from american idol

> > The best thing that happened to you today? Andrew came over.

> > The most romantic thing that ever happened to you? My past girl friends didn�t do really anything relatively romantic for me

> > Your most humiliating moment? I don�t know

> >

> > WHO...

> > Is your best friend? Andrew, Mike

> > Is the loudest person you know? Mike

> > Craziest or silliest? Me

> > Sweetest? Me

> > Coolest? Me

> > Smartest? Me

> > Nicest? everyone

> > Meanest? I don�t like mean people

> > Sexiest? The girl from TeenKarma.com

> > Makes you laugh the most? Mike

> > Is the most gorgeous person in the world? I don�t know, haven�t met her yet.

> > Do you go to for advice? Advice is for chumps and suckers

> > Do talk with about romantic stuff? No one since I don�t have anything to talk about.

> > Do you talk with about life? My self�

> > Do you admire most? Me

> > Knows the most about you? Anyone who reads my diary

> > Has it easier: guys or girls? Guys

> > (OUT OF YOUR FRIENDS, WHO:)

> > Will get married first? I don�t know

> > Will get divorced first? Me

> > Will have a kid out of wedlock? Me

> > Will become a star athlete? Mike

> > Will become a professional hairstylist? My sister is

> > Will make it on Broadway? No one

> > Is the best cook? Me

> > Will make the most money? Me

> > Will have more than five kids? Mike

> > Will have twins or triplets? Anyone of us�

> > Have you known the longest? Andrew

> > Whose parents do you know best? I guess it would be Andrew�s parents since they kinda know me a little

> > Knows you better than your parents? Anyone in the world� my parents don�t know a lot about me

> > Can�t live without your instruction? Everyone can live with out my instruction

> >

> > THE FUTURE:

> > School: After CSU somewhere for my Masters

> > Occupation: Child therapist

> > Place to live: Where ever I go to school

> > Marriage: yes, to someone who I love

> > Family: yes

> > Number of kids: 3

> > Names of kids: Naomi Stolte, Amanda Stolte, and William James Stolte

> >

> > WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

> > Had a cat fight? Friday

> > Kissed someone? That would be January

> > Fell over? Don�t know

> > Showered? this morning

> > Cried? I don�t remember

> > Really laughed? Friday

> > Had someone say �I love you�? Erin lied to me about it

> > Said �I love you� to someone else? I lied to Erin about that

>

> > WHO DO YOU...

> > Have a crush on? Tiffany and a few others

> > Hate? Lots of people

> > Envy? My future self

> > Want to kill? I�m not letting you warn them!

> > Email the most? I guess people from my lab classes

> > Wish you were with right now? Unfortunately Lindsay, I liked being with her when she wasn�t a bitch

> > Wish you had never met? Lindsay

> > Wish you could meet right now? Johnny Depp

> > Think about all the time? Well I think about Lynn a lot, but not as much now as before

> >

> > WHAT DO YOU THINK OF:

> > Abortion? Not my choice

> > Suicide? Eh.

> > Euthanasia? I�m going to euthanasia you bitch

> > Smoking? No

> > Premarital Sex? I fucked 2 girls.

> > Eating disorders? I don�t have one so quit asking!

> > Death? Well you don�t have to poop when you die

> > Rape? Guys don�t get raped usually�

> > Capital punishment? Why stop there? Kill more people

> > Gun control? I don�t have a gun� yet...

> > Gay marriage? That�s gay

> > Pro wrestling? I like it.

> >

> > FINISH THIS OFF:

> > I always... am tired.

> > I feel... bored.

> > I love... music.

> > I regret... nothing.

> > I will never... die.

> > I wish... I had a job.

> > If I could, I would... rob a bank.

> > I�ve had days that... ended

> > The last thing I need right now... is to listen to bitching.

> >

> > WHO/WHAT WAS THE LAST...

> > Person you talked to on the phone? Dorothy

> > Thing you had to drink? Tea

> > Book you read? Non text book would have been My Ishmael

> > TV show you watched? King of the Hill

> > Sentence you said? I�m Rick James, bitch

> > Song you heard? Outkast song

> > CD you bought? I don�t remember

> > Phone number you called? Andrew

> > Person to make you smile? Andrew

> >

> > MISCELLANEOUS:

> > Do you get along with your parents? Eh

> > Do you drink alcohol? yes

> > Do you drink coffee? yes

> > Do you save e-mails? Yes

> > When do you usually go online? All day long� I�m downloading porn!

> > What do you think is a good age to get married? 22

> > What is the funniest thing you�ve ever seen? Chapppelle�s show

> > Do you drive? Yes

> > Do you smoke? no

> > Do you love anybody? Not really

> > Do you hate anybody? YES stop asking that question

> > Do you like the opera? no

> > Do you have a lot of friends? Not really

> > Do you have a lot of enemies? I hope so

> > Are you a good student? kinda

> > Do you have a secret that no one knows about? Sure why not

> > If yes, who would be the first person to whom you told it? My diary� so the first person to read it

> > Do you think dreams eventually come true? If I didn�t think so I would quit dreaming

> > Do you care about the way you look? sometimes

> > Do you have low self-confidence? Yes

> > Can you take a compliment? ok

> > Are you afraid of dying? Who gives a shit? I would be dead

> > Do you like where you live? no

> > Were you named after anyone? Some dude my dad worked with

> > What�s the funniest or most desperate thing you�ve done to get the attention of the opposite (preferred) sex? I don�t do shit like that�

> > What the best quality in a friend? Nice and fun

> > What food do you hate? Lots of food

> > What�s the weirdest food you like? I don�t know

> > One of the dumbest things you�ve ever done: Dated Erin

> > One thing you wish you could tell the whole wide world: Get a JOB.

> > One thing you hope to do before you die: Buy a Porsche and play all the Final Fantasies

> > Biggest fear: When I�m not on meds� it is people

> > Thing about which you�re most picked on: not having much hair

> > What have you done today? Did stats homework

> > What was important in your life in the past week? Andrew visited

> > What is (are) your theme song(s)? Eraser by NIN, or some Wu-Tang song

> > What song brings back memories? I don�t have memories really

> > If a movie was made about your life, what would the title be? The life and times of Lord Chris

> > What color is your bedroom? I think it is green

> > What�s on your bedroom walls? A few posters and wall scrolls.

> > What size is your bed? Small

> > Where�s your computer? bedroom

> > What color socks are you wearing? white

> > What�s the silliest thing you�ve said lately? LAME

> > What do you want right now: A back rub and a good nap

> > What do you do when you get home from school? Watch TV for a bit

> > How long do you take in the shower? 10-15 minutes

> > Do you wear makeup? no

> > If so, what? no

> > What color is your nail polish right now? no

> > What�s the best feeling in the world? Not being paranoid

> > What�s the worst feeling in the world? Paranoia and depressed

> > Do you have any stuffed animals? yes

> > Are you good-looking? I don�t know

> > Are you happy with who you are? sure

> > Are you a vegetarian? Nope

> > Are you kinky? I guess sometimes

> > Are you corny? Maybe? I don�t really know what that means.

> > Are you sappy? Same thing� I don�t really know what that means

> > Are you sexy? Not yet�

> > Gay/Straight/Bi/Trans/Questioning? I like the women

> >

> > WITHIN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU:

> > Had a serious talk? nope

> > Hugged someone? no

> > Kissed someone? no

> > Had sex? no

> > Sung? yes

> > Cried? no

> > Laughed? yeah

> > Gotten a back rub? no

> >

> > WOULD YOU EVER...

> > Shave your head? yes

> > Kiss someone for money? yes

> > Kill someone? Maybe�

> > Do explicit things to make money? Like say fuck on a live news feed? If so hell yea motherfucker.

> > Have sex on an airplane? yes.

> >

> > What is the meaning of life? yes

> >

For the record... That took a long time

Off the record... It was fun though

For the record... Fill it out and send it to me