Lets start with Monday� I took the GRE, it seems that all the months of studying kinda paid off. I got a 490 in my verbal and a 760 in my math. 500 is average and 800 is max, so I did great in math, but not quite as well as I wanted in verbal. I knew my verbal wasn�t going to be that great, but it turned out to be pretty decent. I needed an 1100 over all and I got a 1250 so I'm above the threshold.

Now I just need to get on getting my mission statements and letters of recommendation done. That shouldn�t be too hard, I just need to do it

I got my essay and test back on Monday� I got a 76 on my essay which is total bullshit and I got a 72.5 on my history test. Which is good since the curve makes that a B.

I talked to my teacher about my essay, and he said I could rewrite it. So I did rewrite it and talked to him about the draft I gave him. He said it is a lot better, I just need to fix a few things. I will do that tomorrow or Sunday. Then hopefully I will get at least an 84� I need to get a solid B in that class at least. I really want an A, but I don�t think it is possible because of how he grades and all that stupid shit I don�t like about him�

Tuesday I saw Team America: World Police with a few friends from the message board� that is one of the better movies I have seen in a while. I would like to see it again if I had the money to do so.

Wednesday I worked which like always was uneventful.

Thursday was the pizza and beer night� This was a crazy time�

So there was this girl sitting at a different table than our group was at. I thought she was cute and I just kept looking at her. So Bonnie, Suji and Tim thought it would be nice or something to go tell her that I think she was cute. This was embarrassing but also mean for the fact that there were people within the group who I liked. This gesture by the three seemed as if it created more of a problem than what they intended. The girl turned out to be a grad student. That sucks for me since it means she�s busy, also she didn�t seem too interested in me, and by the time that I did go talk to her, I wasn�t really interested anymore either. So for future knowledge, don�t do stuff like that to me.

When I got home I was kinda pissed about the situation because I know it could have pissed off a person or two I liked, because I am not sure if they like me back in that way. When I did get home I got an IM from a person who I kinda like. She admitted that she didn�t always catch onto my hints that I drop. Though she said she liked them. If I understand this correctly, she said �well I will tell you something; you probably know this already.� I said I knew so she didn�t say it. Like I said last night, this is like putting my balls in a blender. If I am wrong please correct me. I would like to have this conversation face to face though. You�re a smart girl, you can figure out how to reach me.

While I just have put my self out on the line like that, I know what is probably going to happen. Well I really don�t, but who knows�

This is what I want at the moment in time since what ever is going to happen with anyone is going to end in the spring� I want to have a girl that I can cuddle with while we watch movies. I want a girl that will play while we cuddle during movies. I want a girl who will have sex during the movie, then have to re-watch the movie because we were horny freaks. I want a girl that I can go to dinner with or coffee. I want a girl who I can trust not to fuck some other guy even though the relationship isn�t serous. I want a girl who will talk to call me often, but understand that I am a busy person and have other friends to have fun with. I want a girl who will not get jealous when I talk to my female friends.

While I have stated this to the person, I have a bad feeling something good might come of this. The good will be shattered and in the end people will be hurt. THAT IS WHAT I�M MORE CONCERNED WITH, NOT THE FACT THAT I WANT TO BE A �SLUT� FOR A FEW MONTHS. (Even though what I want is an exclusive friend who will be physical). God I hate feelings� I wish I could just find someone and get married so I don�t have to worry about finding someone when I move and all this stupid shit that is happening.

I wish every girl I know would send me an E-mail and tell me what level of friendship they are at with me. That way I don�t have to fucking wonder.

MOTHER FUCKER I�M TIRED.