First things first, I�m not very happy and my stomach still isn�t all that great. I know why I�m not happy, but a few things I have no control over. And it seems as if things just keep not looking up even though I try to fix a few problems.

There is a chance that I will be going to pick up Erin in December. That is if my finals are on the right days and if my parents will let me go. They should let me go, but it is a long drive that I�ve never done before. But I guess there is a first time for everything. I just have to decide when Erin figures out if she�s going to Sweden or not. So until that is done I can�t figure out what is going on. She�s really scared about going.

I talked to one of my teachers yesterday about getting involved in some research. And next semester seems like he has stuff going on that I can help with. I will have to make my schedule first then figure out what is going on. I will have to sign up for all my classes then drop some when I get my research lined up and what not. I have more psychology classes that I need to take than I thought I needed before. I thought I had like 3 or 4 but I think I have like 6 or 7. But I can get two out of the way this semester and maybe one in the summer or something and just take one final semester or do a lot of stuff with psychology professors and get a lot of letters of recommendation.

I went to see Mystic River with Megan on Monday night. That was a good movie. It was kind of slow at times, but it still was good. I thought I knew what was going on until the end when you think what is going to happen doesn�t. It is almost as crazy as The Life of David Gale.

One reason I haven�t updated is that I finally got Romance of the Three Kingdoms VIII. That game is pretty cool. It seems boring if you would watch it, but it is just one of those fun strategy games. I guess all strategy games look boring. I got the game because I thought Final Fantasy X-2 comes out in January but I was wrong, it is supposed to come out November 18th. But I will have to maybe wait on the game because of all the school work I have to do, but who knows. I might just get it.

My cell phone got shut off on last Saturday because I ended up getting 117 roaming long distance minutes. But my dad called and bitched at them and settled it so I got my phone back on and he is going to deal with the bill. There should be no way I could get roaming minutes by calling Erin from my room. I would be out $100 if I had to pay for the roaming minutes.

I got my new motherboard and processor ordered, but it is on back order. They said it should be only two weeks before I get it, but Intel is fucking stupid. I hate Intel but their products are pretty good. I wish AMD would do the same deal and I could get the new AMD 64 bit Athalon. Mike�s computer is broken, and it looks like I have to fix it� yea I get to go fix another computer, I�m so thrilled� oh and when I get my new shit I have to make my sister�s computer too! Oh boy I will be having fun fitting this into my fun time!

I�m doing pretty well in school still� just not anatomy. I hate that class and I don�t go on Thursdays and I skipped yesterday. I usually end up falling asleep. But that�s not the point. It is a pointless class that I don�t even need in my future. Even if I needed to know some stuff, I would leave any major decisions on what to do in the hands of doctors. That is what doctors are there for� to know anatomy and to fix it.

Erin might not be coming home for thanksgiving now� plane tickets cost a lot. It really sucks and it just makes me even sadder. It�s pretty hard waiting until December but I guess it�s already half way there in the school year, but still. She�s going to be in Sweden in the spring semester, and I won�t get to talk to her much. I guess that is what e-mail is for and phone cards, but it still isn�t the same.

God I�m not happy. I have to work in a bit but I hate my job. I still feel like just quitting everything. I wish I could be a macrophage and just eat stuff in the body. That would be a much easier happier life. I would have a job where I feel like I�m actually doing something and getting a sense of pride from. Why isn�t anything helping me be happy? I just don�t know what to do anymore.

It�s really fucking cold out and icy. I hate icy weather.

For the record� I hate cold

Off the record� But I�m always cold

For the record� I�m tired

Off the record� I�m always tired

For the record� My tummy feels sick

Off the record� My tummy always feels sick now

For the record� I�m not happy

Off the record� And I don�t know how long this is going to last