Today started out at 3:30am when my goddamn sleeping pill apparently wore off. I got up and peed and then went back to bed. I didn�t go back to sleep though, so at 7:30 I finally got out and took a shower. I was so tired. I went to class. About 20 minutes into class, I started to get dizzy and my vision went white. I started sweating and felt a little sick. I started shaking and breathing hard and slow. I had a damn panic attack. I haven�t had a panic attack for a long while now. Maybe 6 months or so at least. I felt so bad that I was having one. After the panic attack I could barely concentrate on the lecture and started to fall asleep. The teacher concluded, then the lecture was over since people were barely staying awake, really referring to me.

After class I got my bagel, which took like 10 minutes. I just wanted to eat a sit down and wait for someone to come and sit by me. I ate and Stacey came in a sat with me. We talked a bit and stuff. We�re going to see Lord of the Rings on Friday. I was going to see that with Dorothy or something, but I think she is avoiding me. I guess it isn�t the first time people all of a sudden avoid me. I might just be over reacting, but she�ll have to tell me so. I don�t think she reads this so I don�t think she�ll ever know. Probably around 12:30 after my group met and left, I started having a head ache. Not a normal head ache, but one at the back of my eyes, behind my ears and an overall throbbing pain all over. I just wanted to go home and cry and sleep. But I had no choice but to go to class. I have to go to all my classes this semester. Cognitive psych went pretty well considering how I felt. Then was my counseling. I just wanted to sleep or something so bad. But we had to role-play. Well I had to role-play. I didn�t do a very good job. I could barely hear my partner, so it was hard to practice when I couldn�t hear her.

I finally got to go home, I took three Tyonals and drank a can of pop and had chicken nuggets. I started to feel a little bit better, but I still was tired as hell. I played some NCAA and kick the shit out of Tennessee. They were ranked like 19 or something, but afterwards they shot down to 36. and I moved to #5. After that game I made the data sheet for my lab tomorrow. It didn�t take long, and I think I did what I was supposed to do. I will know tomorrow when I turn it in.

The cute girl is S&P didn�t come to class today. I was upset for that. I really wanted to talk to her, but I guess it is kinda better than she didn�t come since I had a panic attack. I don�t want cute girls who I may like to see me have those. It is rather unattractive. Or it might make them concerned for me and they might talk to me. Either way, I don�t want to have them. I think I am going to talk to Dr. D sometime in the next day or two to ask him what he thinks I should do about my sleeping and just what he thinks I should do about a few of my problems. I trust him for some reason more than I trust a lot of other people. I need to get to trust more people than just him.

I�m dizzy right now and my vision is spotted. I just want to sleep forever.

For the record� I don�t feel good

Off the record� I wish george bush felt as I do and I didn�t feel this way

For the record� I didn�t have a good day

Off the record� I don�t think I will have a good one tomorrow either