Last Wednesday I had my S&P lab test. I think I did well on it this time. I hope I did well because I need to get an A in the class� Right now I am in the library waiting for my group members to come and do the presentation with me. The presentation is due this Wednesday and we have nothing for it yet. I also have a paper due in the same class, which is almost done since I have 70% written.

Thursday I had my S&P test in the actual class. I didn�t study as much as I would have liked for it, but I think I did pretty well on it. If I get a B on that test and then I get some extra credit this Thursday then I will probably have a B and not have to take the final. If by chance I got an A and I have the possibility to get an A in the class� I will so take the final with the hope I get an A on the final which would drop my 71% test and replace it with the final grade. Either way� this isn�t the test I am going to be worried about.

My neck has been hurting me really bad lately. I think my spine is out of place. I need to go to the health center so I can see a chiropractor and then see J, for a med refill. I do not really want to see J all that much, but I think it will be good. I do need a few more refills, but that is all I want to see him about.

Thursday I got the new Rise of Nations expansion pack� It doesn�t work on my computer for some reason. I am getting help from Microsoft tech support� which is surprising and nice. I am going to go home tonight and follow each step again and then send the stuff they asked me to copy and paste. I can play some of the game, but once I get into battles it shuts down. There is little point to the game if I can�t battle� It would be called equal nations then.

Mike and I wanted to play on the LAN but since my game doesn�t work we ended up watching friends and playing Tetris attack. I am almost back up to world class skill status. And yes I am very good at it. Ask anyone who has played me.

So with my weekend not having Rise of Nations, and projects due, I spent Saturday playing around trying to clean stuff off my computer. What did I clean? I deleted about 20 gigs of porn that I thought was either too sluttly� I do not like slutty girls� or too fat� I do not like excessively fat girls. Lindsay was about the limit of size for me. And she wasn�t all that small. I have to defrag my computer sometime in the near future because it really needs it.

I�ve been talking to my TN friend a lot lately. I really like talking to her; in fact it makes me really happy that I have someone like her to talk to. I look forward to talking to her when I see she is online. I hope she will be able to take the day off so I can see her on the way to Florida. This trip will be a lot of fun.

I watched X-2 the other night. I haven�t seen that movie since I saw it in the theater by myself� That was the only movie I�ve seen alone and it wasn�t by choice� Andrew and Jenny didn�t have a credit card, just a debit card� But watching the move alone and I was kinda cold made me upset. I just wanted to cuddle while I watched the movie. I miss that about having a girl around. I miss crawling in between their legs and resting my head on their tummy; being nice and warm and just falling asleep while the movie played. I miss lying face to face with legs and arms entangled just looking at each other and falling asleep. I miss resting my head between a girl�s breasts just laying there, my head rising and falling as they breathe and have them sing me a song to calm me down. I miss holding each other tightly then pealing of sticky sweaty skin apart to kiss. I miss lying so my arm drapes over resting on the breast and my leg over their top and between. I miss the smell of waking up in the morning.

You know I try not to think about that kind of stuff often but sometimes it just happens to be in my brain. I try to fill my time when I have those thoughts with video games or movies, but the movie idea made it worse. I think after the movie I talked to my TN friend about it. I would use her name except I would probably spell it wrong. I have been talking to a few new people online in the past week. It is so nice to actually talk to someone on there and be happy that I am talking to them. Though I wish I could have these people here in person. I wish I could meet more people around here. I wish I had the confidence to actually go talk to Allison again� After I bought my poster board on Thursday I was walking out of the student center. I smiled at Allison, a way to try to prime her memory about our lunch together last year. She smiled back and said HI. That was very unexpected. It made me feel really good. I could never forget about her, not because I like her, but because of her beautiful green eyes. I have never seen such pretty green eyes. I hope I do see her again while I am sitting down. I hope she comes over and sit by me. Even if she doesn�t say anything I will. I will be like how are you doing today? Then I will talk and prime her memory. What would be the point you ask? Confidence, friendship, happiness. I don�t care if anything really progresses� it is almost summer and she doesn�t live here in the summer. I know that from talking to her last year. But still.

On to the topic of what I want and what I hate about what I want. What I want� I want my crushes. What I hate about what I want� I hate mental crushes. Physical crushes can be gotten over relatively easy. Mental crushes are so much harder. It is hard to get over a crush when you like talking to the person, or like being with them. It doesn�t matter what they look like because loving someone is about loving the person not the shell. While physical attraction does play a part for me, it doesn�t play such a big part that I won�t be friends with someone who is ugly or hot. If I know the person before I meet them, I don�t care what they look like. If for chance I am in a class with someone, I probably won�t talk to a person with looks that intimidate me� With that digression� there is this girl sitting two computers away from me who is cute. I like her belly, it�s nice and squishy. More to love�

On to the most important part events that will be here soon. I have one paper, one presentation due this week. Next week is finals. The week after I think is my drink everyday while my parents are in Vegas. Then the week after that VA-FUCKING-CATION. I will be posting my exact date/locations once mike and I get our asses together and make the plans. For my lovely TN friend I will let you know in about 2 days when we will be passing through. Please please please get that day off, I really want to see you and it would be easier to see you on the way. BUT if not I will find A day to come back that you will be home. This being my only trip I see in the near future, I do not want to pass this up and not meet you. Also my FL friend I WILL make a day trip to see you too, I just need to let you know what I am doing. I hope YOU will want to meet ME and go out and have a fun time. I haven�t been to FL, so you will have to show me around. Anyway�

For the record� Fucking partners haven�t called me

Off the record� I hate chicks who don�t return messages

For the record� I feel pretty OK right now

Off the record� I won�t be OK once I get my counseling transcript grade

For the record� Ms. Jessica hasn�t visited me in the library yet

Off the record� If I remember correctly Ms. Jessica lived in Ft. Collins, and if so which High school�

For the record� I went to Rocky Mountain High School

Off the record� I live by that damn school and see it every day.